Very important missing factor for interesting findings part 3: People become attracted over time, especially women. The reason we are no longer getting together is because we are spending more time online and less time with other people with whom we could "learn to love". In monogamous societies this works because cheating and deviation from the norm of marriage is socially punished, but in our tolerant world of today the top 20% of men have all the options the bottom 80% of men get zero or close to zero attention, so all the women complain that "men" are all cheaters when they are just talking about the 20% of men that have all the women around them all the time.
I believe that women cheat as much if not more than men.
I agree that person-to-person interaction has declined to be replaced with online interaction and that this reduces the mechanism of romance and romantic relationship building.
Do you think that perhaps the infantilization of children and youth plays a role in how parents view their children's ability to be better off than they are? For example when my older two (now in college) were small the state of Massachusetts wanted to have kids in booster chairs until they were 12. Obviously the impulse is for safety but that put aside biologically a girl could have a baby at 12 and yet we would treat her as if she was no different than a 5 year old. Another example I have a friend who has a 3rd grader and she refers to the child as one of her littles. The child is 10 years old. They are not in preschool. I have three children of my own and while yes they are precious to me, I treat the college kids like they have their own brain and can take care of themselves. Sometimes for my oldest son it's a stretch because he makes stupid choices but so did I at that age. I think so many parents do not view their children as capable but rather as someone whom they need to shepherded thru life. How can such a person believe their child will be better off than they were? We've had stories of college kids having their parents call if the professor gave them a bad grade. Parents monitor everything from location to grades. Those of us who grew up earlier did not have this kind of gatekeeping. In some cases it might have been because our parents couldn't not becausebthey wouldn't. We don't allow children to make mistakes because they have been made such a reflection of us. While yes I can sometimes look at economics and say sheesh my kids are going to have a rough time, I also need to think how have I helped prepare them and teach them to be capable in handling these challenges? How can they develop confidence? True confidence. Obviously there are a million reasons why parents might feel that their children will not be better off but I just wonder if it's not some of our own thinking that will create a self-fullfilling prophecy.
The late great Joseph Campbell noted all successful tribes progressed members through a process of mother's-child, father's-child, adult. The first is nurturing, unconditional love, safety first, play and minimal consequences. Father's provide the tough love... work, risk-taking, consequences for choice, actions and behavior. The opinion of Campbell was that lacking enough of either would prevent development of well functioning adults.
I think thinkers like Helen Andrew's "The Great Feminization" explains what has happened. I love my mother and my wife, but if allowed complete control over their kids, those kids would have been mothered to excess. Thankfulky both are tradwives that did not dominate over their husband's role to take over primary parenting at some point.
The infantilzation of American youth is largely the result of feminist "progress" putting more mothers in dominance of familiy and institutions. Today, not only have they supplanted the father's role with perpetual mothering, but along with the socioeconomic destruction from globalism, through their institutional control they have successfully punchrd down men... and brainwashed the masses of youth to hate male and reject the father's child lessons of life.
Social media has provided the amplification machine extending their takeover and corruption of the education system.
Men let this happen. Gender equality was a mistake.
I do agree with many of your points. I think the lack of understanding that both parents need to play a role in molding their children is critical. The friend I reference in my.comment will be gone for about 6 days and she is looking for grandma, aunts etc to look after them. I said to her point blank well I mean they have a fully capable dad. Frankly, I think it would be good for all sides. I also told her the first 10 years it's mom and the next 1o years of parenting is dad. I think it's wonderful for both boys and girls to experience their parents. My daughter will learn to pair herself with a man who is concerned about her welfare and my sons will be modeled how to teach their future children.
The "words can cause harm" trend is infantile and illiberal... absolutely inconpatable with our 2nd Amendment, and I would argue enabling of emotional dysfunction.
The "youth have less opportunity for a better life", I think has two dimensions. One is related to the previous where more people are over-mothered, weak, low coping skills, low emotional regulation... and thus, low self-confidence for making their way in the world. The second is by changes to the domestic economy resulting from corporate consolidation, regulatory bloat, globalism and technology development with workforce automation.
Both these trends at the same time have been the opposite of what was needed. At the very time our children needed more resilience and life skills to navigate the increasingly competitive and dynamic global and tech-enabled economy, we feminized them to a position of lower capability.
They are likely correct that life will be less rewarding for them... because they are lessor people.
Very important missing factor for interesting findings part 3: People become attracted over time, especially women. The reason we are no longer getting together is because we are spending more time online and less time with other people with whom we could "learn to love". In monogamous societies this works because cheating and deviation from the norm of marriage is socially punished, but in our tolerant world of today the top 20% of men have all the options the bottom 80% of men get zero or close to zero attention, so all the women complain that "men" are all cheaters when they are just talking about the 20% of men that have all the women around them all the time.
I believe that women cheat as much if not more than men.
I agree that person-to-person interaction has declined to be replaced with online interaction and that this reduces the mechanism of romance and romantic relationship building.
Do you think that perhaps the infantilization of children and youth plays a role in how parents view their children's ability to be better off than they are? For example when my older two (now in college) were small the state of Massachusetts wanted to have kids in booster chairs until they were 12. Obviously the impulse is for safety but that put aside biologically a girl could have a baby at 12 and yet we would treat her as if she was no different than a 5 year old. Another example I have a friend who has a 3rd grader and she refers to the child as one of her littles. The child is 10 years old. They are not in preschool. I have three children of my own and while yes they are precious to me, I treat the college kids like they have their own brain and can take care of themselves. Sometimes for my oldest son it's a stretch because he makes stupid choices but so did I at that age. I think so many parents do not view their children as capable but rather as someone whom they need to shepherded thru life. How can such a person believe their child will be better off than they were? We've had stories of college kids having their parents call if the professor gave them a bad grade. Parents monitor everything from location to grades. Those of us who grew up earlier did not have this kind of gatekeeping. In some cases it might have been because our parents couldn't not becausebthey wouldn't. We don't allow children to make mistakes because they have been made such a reflection of us. While yes I can sometimes look at economics and say sheesh my kids are going to have a rough time, I also need to think how have I helped prepare them and teach them to be capable in handling these challenges? How can they develop confidence? True confidence. Obviously there are a million reasons why parents might feel that their children will not be better off but I just wonder if it's not some of our own thinking that will create a self-fullfilling prophecy.
The late great Joseph Campbell noted all successful tribes progressed members through a process of mother's-child, father's-child, adult. The first is nurturing, unconditional love, safety first, play and minimal consequences. Father's provide the tough love... work, risk-taking, consequences for choice, actions and behavior. The opinion of Campbell was that lacking enough of either would prevent development of well functioning adults.
I think thinkers like Helen Andrew's "The Great Feminization" explains what has happened. I love my mother and my wife, but if allowed complete control over their kids, those kids would have been mothered to excess. Thankfulky both are tradwives that did not dominate over their husband's role to take over primary parenting at some point.
The infantilzation of American youth is largely the result of feminist "progress" putting more mothers in dominance of familiy and institutions. Today, not only have they supplanted the father's role with perpetual mothering, but along with the socioeconomic destruction from globalism, through their institutional control they have successfully punchrd down men... and brainwashed the masses of youth to hate male and reject the father's child lessons of life.
Social media has provided the amplification machine extending their takeover and corruption of the education system.
Men let this happen. Gender equality was a mistake.
I do agree with many of your points. I think the lack of understanding that both parents need to play a role in molding their children is critical. The friend I reference in my.comment will be gone for about 6 days and she is looking for grandma, aunts etc to look after them. I said to her point blank well I mean they have a fully capable dad. Frankly, I think it would be good for all sides. I also told her the first 10 years it's mom and the next 1o years of parenting is dad. I think it's wonderful for both boys and girls to experience their parents. My daughter will learn to pair herself with a man who is concerned about her welfare and my sons will be modeled how to teach their future children.
The "words can cause harm" trend is infantile and illiberal... absolutely inconpatable with our 2nd Amendment, and I would argue enabling of emotional dysfunction.
The "youth have less opportunity for a better life", I think has two dimensions. One is related to the previous where more people are over-mothered, weak, low coping skills, low emotional regulation... and thus, low self-confidence for making their way in the world. The second is by changes to the domestic economy resulting from corporate consolidation, regulatory bloat, globalism and technology development with workforce automation.
Both these trends at the same time have been the opposite of what was needed. At the very time our children needed more resilience and life skills to navigate the increasingly competitive and dynamic global and tech-enabled economy, we feminized them to a position of lower capability.
They are likely correct that life will be less rewarding for them... because they are lessor people.