What Scott Gibb just said, I came here to say the same thing. The "lack of partisan rhetoric" in your book is what gives it power and value. I heard your podcast interview with Andrew Sullivan and noticed that there too you stuck with the direct path from your experience to your thoughts and did not fall into partisan hackery. The irony is that you're being smeared as a right-winger anyway—association with, and having expressed respect for Jordan Peterson is all it takes. (I know because I've been arguing with a liberal friend about you.) And this by people who pride themselves on caring about "quality."
And the thing is, those people will dismiss the book a priori. They won't even read it, because they're sure they already know what it's going to say. And on that score they are dead wrong.
Ironies abound. The "right" were the first, if not the only, to listen to you, and speak well of your book, and in our polarized culture that made you "theirs" and therefore a priori radioactive to the "left." Keep your independence. The "right" will try to enlist you in their causes, which often go beyond the desperately needed correction into an overcorrection. Many will seek to recriminalize homosexuality, for instance, which won't make it go away as it has always existed. Much better to welcome it into a social order that valorizes stable families. It's touching the care you take to acknowledge the two women who gave you the longest period of stability in your life before the military. (No, I'm not a lesbian myself so that's not why I noticed.)
No. “Many” is intentionally vague. (I hate it when people say “Most Americans” and it turn out to be 54%.) I don’t know how many, but these opinions are freely and frequently expressed on Twitter and in Substack comments, and in the Christian Nationalist movement. In a tweet on “how to restore the American family, “overturn Obergefell” was one of the points.
Your comments seem very well grounded, but here's my beef. I'm generally pretty conservative, and no, I have never seen the words "seeking to recriminalize homosexuality" expressed in the pages of, say, the National Review, on conservative podcasts, or even in the comments section of The Free Press - which is famously freewheeling and is, in fact, how I happened upon Rob Henderson and his story. That said, I DO see a bit of pushback on Pride Month lasting for half of May and all of June, and Target seems to have hidden those penis-suppressing women's bathing suits (I always wondered where the overstock went...Ollies? Ocean State Job Lot? Marc's of Cleveland, famous for closeouts?). But "pushback" can hardly be equated with "criminalizing." So, if you've got some evidence for that statement, please share.
Classical conservatives, I think, have largely accepted and even welcomed gay marriage as a domestication (in the good sense) of something that is evidently a natural minority variant and isn't going to go away. (Heterosexual sex needs to be domesticated too. To the partial extent possible.) Evangelicals did not; their worldview is based on a (selectively) strict interpretation of the Bible and they regard homosexuality as a sin. And the truly demonic capers of trans extremists only gives them fuel. Which is why normal gay people are trying to dissociate from them. Granted that "trans extremism" may be blown out of proportion to its actual existence on Twitter or even acted out by undercover provocateurs. Can't take anything at face value these days. But when you see obscene death threats to "TERFS," and the obvious social contagion and grooming that has caused the spike in teenage transitions, you can't not be alarmed and turned off. (For the record, the trans people I know have been gentle and uncrusading and I could never begrudge them living as they choose or need to.)
Rob’s book promotes the utmost importance of nuclear family as the most effective delivery system for love and affirmation in children, which each of us regardless of race, creed or class continually seek as we mature into adulthood. This is (sadly) threatening to some (those that would like to keep us divided?) and certainly to those who coddle luxury beliefs.
Troubled is the best book I’ve read so far in 2024. I’ve already passed it on. It’s already ‘moving like water’ in my world, and I suspect many others.
The NYT list is “curated” - meaning sort of made-up. Take a victory lap, Rob. Most books (including great ones by sincere. talented authors) die quick and ignominious deaths. Writing a book is most often an exercise in desperate hopes and ultimately despair. Enjoy being part of the < 1% of authors who will get their thoughts out into the world!
“Oddly enough, it’s possible that the lack of partisan rhetoric in my book actually backfired.” Actually, the lack of partisan politics in your book is a huge plus.
I wholeheartedly agree. It is rare to find books/posts/articles that just relay information without using it as a hammer to influence your politics. I do not like being told what I should think. That is my province.
Of course, they don’t put it on the NYT list. You put a mirror up to the elite and they don’t like what they see. Your background reflects the exact profile they claim to want to help, but you betray them by exposing the rank hypocrisy, false sincerity, self-indulgence, and the total lack of accountability for their actions. Better to label you “right wing” and call it a day. You proved the very point that if one truly wants to help, one must reflect on the actual outcomes of one’s actions. These elites don’t care about the results, they have already patted themselves on the back for their superior moral compass and moved on. Thank you, Rob, for all your hard work. It may seem slow but I think you are making a difference. Congratulations, and take a much deserved vacation! I’m sure your subscribers would be ok with an empty inbox for a spell knowing that you are getting a well deserved rest.
The NYT is simply discriminating against you because you're politically incorrect and telling a counter cultural story that they do not want to elevate. NYT have always been class snobs and intentionally curate their bestseller selections to advance their preferred social narratives.
Regardless of that...congratulations of your impressive achievement. I'll finish listening to last 1.5 hours of my audio version today.
Jordan Peterson’s books, which had a stratospheric number of purchases, never made it to the NYT bestseller list. We wondered if the reason was that he was a Canadian. I think the answer is more obvious now. When is a bestseller not a bestseller? When it says something that the elites don’t want to hear about. Rejoice in being a real bestseller reaching thousands because you have something valuable to say. Three cheers from Canada!
Don't stress over the NYT list. It's skewed, and not a measure of a book's worth. Seth Godin, who has written tons of books that didn't all make the list, has a lot to say about it:
Why is the NYT even a thing anymore in 2024? The only draw of the Times is who left them (Bari Weiss, I will follow you anywhere!) so maybe we need to help them get over themselves and move on. You have helped me understand the whole "Best Seller" thing and although disillusioned, not surprised. Once again, you have helped me to move forward when choosing books to read...not pay attention to the NYT "Best" Sellers list, but continue to read books that are recommended by writers like you (keep up your recommendations!), other substackers that I read, and now the USA today, Publishers Weekly, and Bookshop lists.
Oh, and so unfair that you were so sick during this amazing "opening act" for your book's release, but really Rob, I am just not surprised....the Universe seems to keep wanting to give you "challenges" and like the old commercial (you are too young to have seen this classic ad campaign about a watch--NOT a Rolex etc.) "You take a lickin' but keep on tickin' "
“If lists literally just compiled the bestselling books of all time, it would never really change. You’d just see the Bible, Harry Potter, and the Britney Spears/Prince Harry/A-list celeb memoir every week.” Funny! :)
My hypothesis of why the Epstein sex-trafficking scandal was so easily ignored when it first broke a decade before he finally was held to account is similar to your thinking about "classification." In the same way our cultural gatekeepers aren't quite sure what to do with a book they can't classify as sustaining or contradicting "the narrative," everyone was terrified to look too carefully at the first Epstein bust because no one could be sure whether their favorite narrative characters might be implicated.
As a result, the only people willing to have an opinion on topics that don't have a clear narrative function or make clear contributions to one or another preferred narrative's inertia are those who feel free to make truthful commentary about objective reality and to declare with moral / ethical clarity, "This is wrong."
Increasingly, those people are a vanishing species.
I’m sorry your illness hit you at exactly the wrong time, but the good news is that you’re building your immune system and so will probably have fewer such episodes in the future. I had miserable cases of flu nearly every year in my 20’s but then at some point just quit getting sick.
I’m listening to your book now and am at the point where you just started to thrive in the military. You’ve been given a miraculous opportunity to tell your story and I’m glad you did. You are the ‘exception to the rule’ about how important families are. For every success like you there are thousands of failures.
You definitely hustle. It shows you can't afford to just sit back and let things happen or hope for the best. Yes you care, you believe in your work and what you have to say and that comes through as authentic and bold.
I think you are on the WSJ’s best seller list as well. Not surprised about the NYT; they’ll move mountains to keep conservatives off it. I enjoyed the book throughly and have been spreading the word among family and friends about it. Congratulations, your success is richly deserved.
Go Rob GO! Watching this happen for you makes me feel healed of every step gone wrong in my own and only book launch of 2007. Thank you for sharing such candid, personal experiences.
What Scott Gibb just said, I came here to say the same thing. The "lack of partisan rhetoric" in your book is what gives it power and value. I heard your podcast interview with Andrew Sullivan and noticed that there too you stuck with the direct path from your experience to your thoughts and did not fall into partisan hackery. The irony is that you're being smeared as a right-winger anyway—association with, and having expressed respect for Jordan Peterson is all it takes. (I know because I've been arguing with a liberal friend about you.) And this by people who pride themselves on caring about "quality."
And the thing is, those people will dismiss the book a priori. They won't even read it, because they're sure they already know what it's going to say. And on that score they are dead wrong.
Ironies abound. The "right" were the first, if not the only, to listen to you, and speak well of your book, and in our polarized culture that made you "theirs" and therefore a priori radioactive to the "left." Keep your independence. The "right" will try to enlist you in their causes, which often go beyond the desperately needed correction into an overcorrection. Many will seek to recriminalize homosexuality, for instance, which won't make it go away as it has always existed. Much better to welcome it into a social order that valorizes stable families. It's touching the care you take to acknowledge the two women who gave you the longest period of stability in your life before the military. (No, I'm not a lesbian myself so that's not why I noticed.)
“Many will seek to recriminalize homosexuality.” Got a Pew study? Harris? No?
No. “Many” is intentionally vague. (I hate it when people say “Most Americans” and it turn out to be 54%.) I don’t know how many, but these opinions are freely and frequently expressed on Twitter and in Substack comments, and in the Christian Nationalist movement. In a tweet on “how to restore the American family, “overturn Obergefell” was one of the points.
Your comments seem very well grounded, but here's my beef. I'm generally pretty conservative, and no, I have never seen the words "seeking to recriminalize homosexuality" expressed in the pages of, say, the National Review, on conservative podcasts, or even in the comments section of The Free Press - which is famously freewheeling and is, in fact, how I happened upon Rob Henderson and his story. That said, I DO see a bit of pushback on Pride Month lasting for half of May and all of June, and Target seems to have hidden those penis-suppressing women's bathing suits (I always wondered where the overstock went...Ollies? Ocean State Job Lot? Marc's of Cleveland, famous for closeouts?). But "pushback" can hardly be equated with "criminalizing." So, if you've got some evidence for that statement, please share.
😂
Classical conservatives, I think, have largely accepted and even welcomed gay marriage as a domestication (in the good sense) of something that is evidently a natural minority variant and isn't going to go away. (Heterosexual sex needs to be domesticated too. To the partial extent possible.) Evangelicals did not; their worldview is based on a (selectively) strict interpretation of the Bible and they regard homosexuality as a sin. And the truly demonic capers of trans extremists only gives them fuel. Which is why normal gay people are trying to dissociate from them. Granted that "trans extremism" may be blown out of proportion to its actual existence on Twitter or even acted out by undercover provocateurs. Can't take anything at face value these days. But when you see obscene death threats to "TERFS," and the obvious social contagion and grooming that has caused the spike in teenage transitions, you can't not be alarmed and turned off. (For the record, the trans people I know have been gentle and uncrusading and I could never begrudge them living as they choose or need to.)
Rob’s book promotes the utmost importance of nuclear family as the most effective delivery system for love and affirmation in children, which each of us regardless of race, creed or class continually seek as we mature into adulthood. This is (sadly) threatening to some (those that would like to keep us divided?) and certainly to those who coddle luxury beliefs.
Troubled is the best book I’ve read so far in 2024. I’ve already passed it on. It’s already ‘moving like water’ in my world, and I suspect many others.
The NYT list is “curated” - meaning sort of made-up. Take a victory lap, Rob. Most books (including great ones by sincere. talented authors) die quick and ignominious deaths. Writing a book is most often an exercise in desperate hopes and ultimately despair. Enjoy being part of the < 1% of authors who will get their thoughts out into the world!
“Oddly enough, it’s possible that the lack of partisan rhetoric in my book actually backfired.” Actually, the lack of partisan politics in your book is a huge plus.
I wholeheartedly agree. It is rare to find books/posts/articles that just relay information without using it as a hammer to influence your politics. I do not like being told what I should think. That is my province.
Agreed. Let the audience figure it out. We need more thought leaders like Rob Henderson.
Another wholehearted agreement.
Of course, they don’t put it on the NYT list. You put a mirror up to the elite and they don’t like what they see. Your background reflects the exact profile they claim to want to help, but you betray them by exposing the rank hypocrisy, false sincerity, self-indulgence, and the total lack of accountability for their actions. Better to label you “right wing” and call it a day. You proved the very point that if one truly wants to help, one must reflect on the actual outcomes of one’s actions. These elites don’t care about the results, they have already patted themselves on the back for their superior moral compass and moved on. Thank you, Rob, for all your hard work. It may seem slow but I think you are making a difference. Congratulations, and take a much deserved vacation! I’m sure your subscribers would be ok with an empty inbox for a spell knowing that you are getting a well deserved rest.
You're overthinking it Rob.
The NYT is simply discriminating against you because you're politically incorrect and telling a counter cultural story that they do not want to elevate. NYT have always been class snobs and intentionally curate their bestseller selections to advance their preferred social narratives.
Regardless of that...congratulations of your impressive achievement. I'll finish listening to last 1.5 hours of my audio version today.
Jordan Peterson’s books, which had a stratospheric number of purchases, never made it to the NYT bestseller list. We wondered if the reason was that he was a Canadian. I think the answer is more obvious now. When is a bestseller not a bestseller? When it says something that the elites don’t want to hear about. Rejoice in being a real bestseller reaching thousands because you have something valuable to say. Three cheers from Canada!
Don't stress over the NYT list. It's skewed, and not a measure of a book's worth. Seth Godin, who has written tons of books that didn't all make the list, has a lot to say about it:
https://seths.blog/?s=New+York+Times+bestseller
Congratulations are in order
Why is the NYT even a thing anymore in 2024? The only draw of the Times is who left them (Bari Weiss, I will follow you anywhere!) so maybe we need to help them get over themselves and move on. You have helped me understand the whole "Best Seller" thing and although disillusioned, not surprised. Once again, you have helped me to move forward when choosing books to read...not pay attention to the NYT "Best" Sellers list, but continue to read books that are recommended by writers like you (keep up your recommendations!), other substackers that I read, and now the USA today, Publishers Weekly, and Bookshop lists.
Oh, and so unfair that you were so sick during this amazing "opening act" for your book's release, but really Rob, I am just not surprised....the Universe seems to keep wanting to give you "challenges" and like the old commercial (you are too young to have seen this classic ad campaign about a watch--NOT a Rolex etc.) "You take a lickin' but keep on tickin' "
“If lists literally just compiled the bestselling books of all time, it would never really change. You’d just see the Bible, Harry Potter, and the Britney Spears/Prince Harry/A-list celeb memoir every week.” Funny! :)
My hypothesis of why the Epstein sex-trafficking scandal was so easily ignored when it first broke a decade before he finally was held to account is similar to your thinking about "classification." In the same way our cultural gatekeepers aren't quite sure what to do with a book they can't classify as sustaining or contradicting "the narrative," everyone was terrified to look too carefully at the first Epstein bust because no one could be sure whether their favorite narrative characters might be implicated.
As a result, the only people willing to have an opinion on topics that don't have a clear narrative function or make clear contributions to one or another preferred narrative's inertia are those who feel free to make truthful commentary about objective reality and to declare with moral / ethical clarity, "This is wrong."
Increasingly, those people are a vanishing species.
I’m sorry your illness hit you at exactly the wrong time, but the good news is that you’re building your immune system and so will probably have fewer such episodes in the future. I had miserable cases of flu nearly every year in my 20’s but then at some point just quit getting sick.
I’m listening to your book now and am at the point where you just started to thrive in the military. You’ve been given a miraculous opportunity to tell your story and I’m glad you did. You are the ‘exception to the rule’ about how important families are. For every success like you there are thousands of failures.
Congrats. If there were ever a person deserving of success it is you. Stop pining for the NYT approval. It is their loss.
You definitely hustle. It shows you can't afford to just sit back and let things happen or hope for the best. Yes you care, you believe in your work and what you have to say and that comes through as authentic and bold.
I think you are on the WSJ’s best seller list as well. Not surprised about the NYT; they’ll move mountains to keep conservatives off it. I enjoyed the book throughly and have been spreading the word among family and friends about it. Congratulations, your success is richly deserved.
Go Rob GO! Watching this happen for you makes me feel healed of every step gone wrong in my own and only book launch of 2007. Thank you for sharing such candid, personal experiences.