I’m Moving To New York

A new chapter in the Big Apple

Top of The Rock in New York City

From the penultimate chapter of my memoir Troubled:

“In yet another surreal moment, I received notification that my application for a Gates Cambridge scholarship to study for a doctorate at the University of Cambridge was successful. With a 1.3 percent acceptance rate, obtaining the scholarship was even more unlikely than getting into Yale. Applicants had to demonstrate academic excellence, leadership ability, and a commitment to improving the lives of others. Between my college transcript, military experience, and my unusual upbringing, I figured I’d be competitive, but I was far from confident. Now, I couldn’t believe I was going back across the Atlantic yet again.”

After 6 years of living in the UK, I’m returning to the US.

I arrive in New York City tomorrow, October 16. I’ll be apartment hunting during the next few weeks.

If you happen to have a nice place you’re renting out and want to offer a discounted rate to provide shelter to a half-Latinx half-Asian former foster child of color, you will singlehandedly advance the cause of social justice.

For the New Yorkers among you—transplants, natives, and those who are familiar with the city—please hit me with any helpful comments, tips, guidance, etc.

You can respond directly to this email or in the comments section below.

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There are plenty of opportunities I’ll be exploring while living in New York City, including a potential podcast miniseries I’m excited about.

Ordinarily, for a relatively young writer who doesn’t have rich parents, moving to New York City would be financially unwise. But I’m able to make this transition because of your support. My readers. I’ll never fail to remember that. By the way, now’s a good time to remind those of you who aren’t yet paid subscribers that there are more than 100 premium posts in the archive. Paid subscribers also get access to regular Ask Me Anything threads, along with my livestreams where you can ask me anything you want. And steep discounts for 1-on-1 video meetings with me.

Here are some recent paid subscriber-only essays that readers have enjoyed:

• The Hypocrisy of the New Upper Class

• Social Class On TV Shows

• The Short End of the Stick: Average Lives Matter

Additionally, it’ll be a lot easier for me to do more events and host meetups for readers of this newsletter in the US. And I don’t just mean meetups in New York. But across the country.

Multiple friends and readers in the Bay Area have urged me to move to San Francisco.

That’s probably not happening any time soon.

I do miss the west coast, though. When I was in LA recently, it occurred to me that homelessness and vagrancy doesn’t look so bad when you compare it to NY. The weather in LA is so great and the vibe is so chill that when you see a drug addict passed out on the sidewalk or on the beach, you can think “Oh, they’re just camping.”

It’s a lot easier, faster, and more affordable to travel from New York to California than London to California. So I’ll be visiting the west coast more frequently. My mom and sister are happy about this.

There’s a lot to like about the UK, and it’ll continue to be a regular destination for me. Earlier this week, I attended a formal high table dinner at my old college (St Catharine’s) at Cambridge University with my friend Steve McGregor. I’ll miss these.

For all its flaws, though, America is still the best country in the world. And I say that as someone who has spent most of my adult life living abroad. Ever since I left home in California at the age of 17, I’ve spent nearly a decade overseas.

3.5 years stationed in Ramstein Air Base, Germany. 6 months deployed in Manas Air Base, Kyrgyzstan and Al Udeid Air Base, Qatar. 6 years living in the UK, with 4 years dedicated to completing my PhD at the University of Cambridge and an additional 2 years staying on a visa. With plenty of travel to many other countries during this period.

So I’m glad to be returning to the land of the free. Or at least the land where you can’t get arrested for social media posts.

Not sure how long I’ll reside in NY. Perhaps a year. Perhaps two. Eventually, I’ll probably settle, for better or worse, back in California (maybe San Diego or thereabouts). The very first time I visited New York in 2014 (hard to believe it’s been a full decade now), I was still on active duty in the military. I stopped by the 9/11 memorial. It was under construction and heavily guarded by NYPD officers in order to prevent entry. I wanted to see it. My friend who was with me (a Yale graduate who tutored me at the Warrior-Scholar Project, which I describe in my book) said, “Rob, I’ll bet if you show them your military ID they’ll let you through.” I was skeptical but then approached one of the cops. The NYPD officer carefully examined my U.S. Air Force ID, spoke a few words into his radio to notify his supervisor, and permitted my entry, allowing me to tour the memorial alone for about 15 minutes.

This isn’t just a geographic shift. It's a personal one, too. New York represents a new chapter. Full of uncertainty, possibility, and—if I’m being honest—a little bit of chaos. There’s something magnetic about the energy of the city. Yes, it’s dirty and has plenty of issues. It’s also a place where creativity thrives amidst the noise and the crowds, where everyone is hustling for different reasons. Anecdotally, I’ve noticed that people who fled California during the lockdowns and resettled in Austin, Nashville, Miami, etc. never returned to the Golden State. In contrast, most of the people who left NY during the lockdowns eventually returned. As a Millennial of a certain age who saw 9/11 and its aftermath, and who loved the Tobey Maguire Spider-Man movies, I’m excited to find my rhythm in the Empire State. To carve out a space where I can continue writing, reflecting, and connecting with others in ways I haven’t been able to while living on the other side of the Atlantic.

I don’t know exactly what this new chapter will bring. More writing, naturally. Maybe the podcast idea will take off, maybe it won’t. Maybe New York will feel like home, or maybe I’ll eventually head to the warmer shores of California for good. What I do know is that I’m ready to embrace whatever comes next. I’m grateful that I get to share it with all of you.

Here’s to new beginnings. To unpredictable journeys. To finding home—wherever that may be.

With gratitude and anticipation,

Rob