In this conversation, Richard Hanania and I break down a viral TikTok where an attractive woman hits on random guys on a college campus—and what their reactions reveal about male confidence, skepticism, and social conditioning.
I recommend watching the video so you can follow along as we analyze the interactions frame by frame.
Some highlights:
We compare how men and women experience “approach” dynamics—and why even attractive women get treated with suspicion when they make the first move.
Most guys aren’t going to be approached in this particular way, but if you’re a single guy who wants to meet someone, it’s important to learn how to handle unexpected interactions with women who might like you
Why some of the guys in the video were stunned, nervous, or skeptical.
I explain how being sealed off from the world (AirPods in, head down) can make you miss unexpected social or romantic opportunities
The Zoomer shift away from phone numbers to Snapchat and Instagram when first exchanging contact info—and what that says about trust, privacy, and modern flirting.
What guys should actually do in this situation—and why asking her out on the spot is often the better move than merely exchanging social media information or phone numbers
Highlighting the guy who handled it best—no freezing, no fidgeting, just cool, relaxed confidence and a smooth number exchange.
Why athletes and gym bros tend to perform better in these moments—they’re more comfortable in their bodies and with taking initiative.
I explain why it’s always better to ask for her number, even if she approached you first
If you’re just starting out socially, it’s better to focus on being friendly, open, and talkative before you try to get clever or flirtatious. My tips to be a better conversationalist here.
Why we disagree with Bryan Caplan’s advice to ask to hold hands during a date—and why needing explicit permission for every move is usually a turn-off, not a safeguard.
Reading and responding to unspoken signals isn’t just good dating—it’s a sign of basic social intelligence. Even the way a person reacts when your hands casually brush together can reveal comfort, interest, hesitation, etc.
We analyze one guy who technically says the right things but gives off a strange vibe—proof that tone and vibe often matter more than words.
Sometimes the best move is to make a plan on the spot. “What are you doing Thursday?” beats endless text exchanges.
Confidence isn’t innate. It’s built through action. Most guys are just sleepwalking through life. If you consistently act, you're already ahead.
